that which became crooked

i miss my voice. i mean this in a literal sense.
my singing voice specifically, before braces.
getting braces changed my mouth significantly, especially since i had an expander in the top.
it's amazing how much of a difference it has made in my ability to sing well.
i just don't have quite the same quality i used to have with my voice before braces.

it's just one more thing i've lost.


my voice can still be pleasantly sweet and melodic though, don't get me wrong. there is still something left. but it's just barely there now.

ah, well, not like i really planned on doing anything more with it anyway.
it's funny though, all the people who told me i should audition for american idol or something because of the voice i had before.
i spent several years working on it, and then it all fell apart with braces.

and it's like "oh, yay, my teeth are straight, but now my voice isn't all that great."
fail.
i do like having straighter teeth though. that has to count for something.
maybe.

i noticed that i half-lose my voice after singing, like after choir rehearsal and things like that. that's something i don't get either.


i don't really have anything else on my mind. besides a certain person.
oh, curse me for being such a lover.
i need to learn to fight more. against myself even.

i am thankful for small kindnesses. for me, and others i've noticed, it can really make a person's day sometimes, just doing something small for someone.
and i am thankful for my determination. a teacher of mine in college happened to notice that i can be a very determined individual.

so maybe i already am a fighter. strong or strong-willed. oh.

all my love,
Heather