Thursday, April 22, 2010

taking steps back

i have to mention first that there are at least two friends of mine who are amazing, who i am so thankful for. really. one is a girl who is there for me and helps me out and makes me feel loved. the other is a boy whose ability to make me smile and cheer me up is quite inexplicable, but so awesome, and who also makes me feel loved.
they're both far away across the country but i cherish them like nothing else, other than the maybe certain people in my family who mean more to me than others for their love, support, and care.

that being said, i'm feeling much better. i got my tears out finally. there is this girl whose writing is just so spectacularly wonderfully amazing that it always warms my heart and wrenches my heart at the same time, and i actually love that feeling. and reading it sometimes helps my emotions somehow, and so i was able to let the tears go.
sometimes i just need to cry.

i was up late last night. well, until about 1:30am, which is pretty late for me considering i usually am in bed by 9 or 10 these days because of how tired i always am.
oh, but patrick didn't bother me in my dreams last night. i told him to leave me alone. and i just kept telling him that when he objected. and i guess it must have worked because he hasn't bothered me since.
he is still around, but isn't insisting on his usual disruption. thankfully.

so last night, i dreamed about being back in high school, and living with family, and just having fun with life. it was nice.
no haunts, no lover, nothing of the sort.
just pleasant times.

and well, i have nothing really going on today.
besides choir rehearsal.
but i feel rather tired so i'll take the time to rest.

all my love,

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