when you look for those words and cannot find them

i don't know what to say this time.
there are some people i just don't know how to talk to. or can't talk to about anything serious without getting upset because they just always seem to push buttons, no matter what it is.
it's tough when i feel put down by whatever they seem to be saying, but i can't help it. and i don't know what it is.
i try to get along with certain people, people i care about, and sometimes it just doesn't work. and i don't know what i can to do to change it. to mend this little wound that is always opened when they try to tell me about their side of things. and it's that kind of wound that stings so much it just annoys me.


anyway,
i'm doing well with diet and exercise. i've been basically sticking to my diet and i'm exercising even more than i was before. it's a struggle. i really have to live hour by hour with things because i've been so depressed that i have to force myself to do anything. i really have to keep pushing myself.

i'm looking forward to school though. having a routine like that will help me. i've noticed that giving myself things to seems to help, even if i have to fight with myself to end up getting them done.

i've been studying for my permit test as well. and they have practice questions online so i'm about to go see how many of those i get right.

so that's all for now.

all my love,
Heather