Saturday, March 27, 2010

i'm not who i was

change for the better.
that's what it's all about.

live. love. grow.

i was feeling a little depressed earlier on my walk, but that has pretty much passed.
i'm glad i didn't come home just wanting to cry.

my new thing of the moment is Brandon Heath. a friend of mine got me hooked on his music. especially the song "I'm Not Who I Was." my new favorite song of the moment.
i've only been listening to his music since last night, but i keep listening to the songs over and over. i like how the lyrics are very honest, completely relatable, and beautiful in their own way. i'm just totally into it right now. i also really like "Love Never Fails."

today was another pretty, blue sky day. it was chilly with wind, but otherwise pleasant.
and i still haven't bitten my nails.
one more day and it'll have been a week.
i still wonder how long it will take them to grow. i just have to keep telling myself i have plenty of time for them to grow because i don't plan on biting them at all anymore. i'm just so completely ready to have nails of a healthy length again.
although they're already not that bad. but i want them long enough so i can paint them again.

oh, so it seems i'll be having difficulty writing Dear Sun after all. i don't know. i lost my train of thought with it. i should've written down what i had been thinking before i forgot it.
but that's okay. i have plenty of time to work on it.

i have to keep telling myself that.
there's no need to hurry.
no rush.
i have time.
i'm not running. not running out.
no, no.

so today i am thankful for:
-a good friend of mine who has been very understanding and is accepting me as a friend again. she means a lot to me, so i am glad to reconcile things with her.
-being capable of self-control, to keep myself from being impulsive, making bad choices, and doing things like biting my nails.

all my love,

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