Wednesday, August 11, 2010

we could be made for this

just wait and see :)

so...i definitely feel the instability flowing through my body and mind. it's like constantly being on the edge. but i think i can handle it for now until i work the whole insurance thing out.

i'm so excited though because i realized i have various things to look forward to. more specifically, people to look forward to seeing.

so there's nothing this month, but that's fine.
in september though, my brother will be out here and i will probably get to see him at least once while he's here.

in october, if all goes according to plans, someone will be visiting me for a week, and i'm so happy about that.

november, like august, will be pretty much uneventful. thanksgiving will roll around and i'll probably be seeing some of my relatives here maybe, but otherwise nothing.

and then there is december. i might quite possibly be going on a trip over winter break to see some people. not really all that sure about it, but it's a possibility at this point.

after that, i only have two more months of school. i have a feeling things will go by pretty fast. right now i'm almost halfway through my first term, and then i only have second term to worry about. I can't believe i'm already on week 7 of school. it seems like not too long ago i was just starting out. craziness.

don't know where i'll be headed once i get out. i kinda want to move back to California. I miss it. When i first moved there i was hella pissed to have to be there, but the place really grew on me. so now here i am, wishing i could be there.
at this point, i have no idea how the heck i'll get back there. but i guess i'll find a way if i know for sure that's where i want to be. i might have to work for a bit first over here and save up some money. we'll see what happens.

i'm thinking of actually trying to find some work before i graduate. since over here you don't have to be certified to work as a pharm tech, there's a chance i could get a job before i'm certified since at least i'm going to school for it.
another possibility.

i don't know. i guess all i can do is my best and hope things go the way i want them to.
for now, it's six more months of school. half a year. i think i can manage that.
i really think i can do it.
it's kinda funny though because one of my teachers thinks maybe i should become a medical assisstant instead. apparently i'm really smart or something.
honestly, i don't know for sure what i'll end up doing.
i figure i'll start with what i'm doing right now and work from there. take time and figure out what i want to do for sure. give myself a chance to make up my mind and know that i'm doing what i really want to do.

i really think though that life is too short to not do what i want to do with it. i think the best thing i could do for myself is do whatever makes me happy. and right now i'm in a happy place with my life. i like what i'm doing. i like what i have planned near future. i like where i'm headed and i feel confident about the choices i've been making.

it's amazing how great it feels to finally move on from things i should've let go of months ago. i finally got it though my head somehow. i finally decided for myself that all that stuff just wasn't worth as much as i wanted it to be.


i'm dancing for joy again. i think i even feel my heart beating again.

all my love,

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