Thursday, January 20, 2011

the smallest things that mean the most-1

there are quite a few of these, if i can sort them out in my head enough to share them.

tonight, i wanted to share my fondest memory of a guy i rarely talked to, a guy who got me and my sister confused once, but also a guy who i hugged almost every time i saw him.

in my purposes of not ever really naming names, for the most part, i am going to refer to this guy as JB. he was one of my friends, sort of, back in high school.
we never really hung out at all either. suffice it to say i thought he was entertaining, and funny, and cool, and even kinda cute. i do not recall ever having any classes with him, but somewhere, somehow, our paths crossed, most likely from us both being into theatre activities.

which brings me to my story.

it was opening night for the winter play in my senior year of high school. i was fairly calm initially upon arriving hours beforehand to get ready and go over any last minute preparations and/or practice.

bring in my most recent ex at the time, let's call him JCH (and hopefully you wont get too confused between the two people).
we had broken up only perhaps a little over a month prior to this night, mainly due to the fact that we never got to see each other(but mostly i didn't want to be with someone so manipulative and flaky).

he called me. after all, we still talked to each other. still on a speaking terms. i was not, as of yet, dating anyone new. i walked out back behind the dressing room area, outside into the dark night, to answer the phone, since i still had plenty of time.

for whatever reason, that of which i just can't remember even a little bit, he got mad at me and made me feel really bad about whatever it was.

here i was, trying to still be friends with him, and he was making me feel awful.

when i finally got off the phone with him, and then eventually stopped crying, i went back inside and just kinda sat there. on the edge of the sofa in there. feeling horribly, horribly depressed. knowing that not-too-long from that moment i would have to get out on that stage and perform, no matter what i felt at the time.
i wasn't crying anymore. but i must've been awfully quiet for quite a while.

in comes JB. he walks up to me. starts talking to me, with that sweet smile that always seemed to adorn him. at some point, we started talking about watching the stars. he asked me if i liked staying out and watching the stars. when i told him i did, at first i thought the conversation was over. it looked like he was going to walk away. i figured at the time he probably realized he had something better to do that to chat with me.

instead, he went across the room, grabbed a pillow, came back and grabbed my hand. he pulled me up off the sofa and led me out back. he proceeded to put the pillow down on the concrete and sat down, and told me to sit down with him. i did.
and well, eventually he laid back down, with his head on the pillow, so he could watch the stars.
i continued to sit there. i felt strange. i did not know, in this situation, what was appropriate or correct or whatever. he chuckled and told me to lie down and share the pillow with him. i did as i was told (i felt odd. the pillow was barely big enough for one person to use. our head were right against each other).

we lied there for what seemed like ages. just watching the stars together. no words needed.

and i felt.
i felt so peaceful.
it was so simple.
a simple moment with a friend.

but the wonders it worked on my emotional state that night. i do not know why, or how, but it really cheered me up. i felt so much better.

i went on and performed and everything was fine.

and i will never, ever forget that night.


nothing changed between us after that. all i knew was that i had something special to appreciate about JB after that. something to make me smile.

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