Friday, November 5, 2010


1. I am not happy with my life. I have moments where nothing matters anymore, and all the magic is gone. Where logic explains everything, except some things that religion doesn’t answer either. And I wonder what I should do when life gets that way for me. I wonder if being alive has any meaning at all. If we all just die, and that’s it, then what? Where is the purpose? What is the use? etc. There are things I wish I didn’t know, too. Things that hurt.

You might tell me that nobody is happy with their life. But when I say I am not happy, I mean I am the opposite. Quite so. Not happy at all. About anything. That is just how I feel sometime.

I go back to the belief I am just a chemical machine. I will eventually run out of fuel and die. I will eventually malfunction, stop working. And then I will be gone.

The end.

How do people get themselves to believe in gods or heaven or anything like that?

1 comment:

  1. Almost everyone on the planet maintains life in the pursuit of seeing what happens next. Whether it's finding a soul mate or a heaven full of virgins or a good sandwich, wanting to know what tomorrow will bring is universal. Happiness is entirely relative to your expectations. Another person in your exact situation may consider themselves the luckiest and happiest person on the earth. Expectation and where you set the bar means everything. The same B grade on a test will be a huge disappointment to one student while it may be the greatest day ever for another.

    Chemically, as in brain chemicals, have a lot to do with altering a persons perspective. If your chemicals are pushing you toward depression then the world will just be a miserable place regardless of reality. If you are feeling this lost then I would start with your meds first and work your way toward some solution.

    It makes me sad to see you kind of lost like this.