digging holes

it's like he left a hole in my heart. i keep wishing there was something to fill it.
it's weird when someone disappears. i feel like something has been lost. something has gone missing. something doesn't make sense.
and this longing to find it again, to fix it, whatever it may be has me in a saddened state at times.


today i kept spacing out in class. i tried and tried to pay attention, to stay focused, but my mind kept going into that blank space. It wasn't even other thoughts. It was that total blank place where I somehow don't think of anything at all. I was able to focus when I had to take my test in Pharmacology though. Thankfully.


anyway, so. I am reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows again. Four chapters in and two deaths already. i totally forgot how depressing this book can be. But i love it. My favorite thing about these books is how they are written. Rowling really gets you into Harry's head to the point where it sometimes feels like you are going through every twist turn and trial with him. i love all the symbolism with certain key characters and objects and parts of the magical world. I love some of the more classical elements in her symbols. Though they made parts of the storyline quite predictable for me, I really enjoyed them anyway. It gave me something I already felt familiar with, something to instantly connect myself to.

I grew up with these books. I started reading them in middle school. it's actually kinda funny because i initially refused to read them mainly because they were such a fad and i generally distance myself from things that get super popular like that (although i've also read the Twilight saga) but once i started reading i realized i was going to get hooked on the series.

I'm reading the 7th book again in light of the fact that the movie comes out in November. I am super excited about it. I always like to review on the book before seeing the movie. i like doing comparisons for some reason. i take interest in how they change things, in what they add, and in what they leave out. i have certain expectations about this movie since they're doing the last book in two movies. so i figure, hopefully, they got a lot of the content in.

how could I not love this series?
I've always really been into magic and fantasy books and i love Rowling's rendition of it all.

by the way, for those of you who don't know, Snape is, always has been, and always will be my favorite character. i really wish Rowling had written more about his life. or that she would eventually write something more about him.
i've always liked the characters in stories that seem bad but are truly good. i like the dark, tormented past and the conflict and everything. he is just so interesting to me.

of course, Dumbledore is my second favorite.

I also really like Luna and well, Harry himself.


but you're probably tired of reading about this, so i'll stop here.


as for other stuff, well, i have 3 more weeks of classes. i got my schedule for next term and i'm pretty happy with it. i don't know who all of my teachers are yet, but some i do because they are the same as this term. i have class at 8am next term but i have a really good teacher who makes class exciting so it will be a good class to have that early in the day. i am so excited that i will be finished in february and then i can get certified assuming i pass the test. i'm confident that with the teaching i'm currently receiving that it will surely happen for me.

i feel kinda cool. and i'm looking forward to awards next term because i know i'll be getting several, plus my HIPAA certification. i took the test for that this term and got 100% so i get my certificate for that. yay.

yay. yay.

all my love,
Heather