Wednesday, June 16, 2010

we dream in whispers.

my trip to california was quite pleasant. it eased my heart to see that part of my family again. we didn't do a whole lot but it was still fun. i went to graduation and did a little shopping. one day, my sisters and I went out together and on the way home we got slushies and it was a blast just to be with them. by the way, they taught me how they say slushies with a funny lisp. it made me laugh, and frustrated when i was trying to get it right.
if there's one thing i really miss about being with my family, it's the humor. i was laughing so much every day at things that to outsiders might seem stupid, but to me it was simply hilarious! plus the random Borat line inserts from various people, including my sister's boyfriend who i finally got to meet.
i got a chance to talk to my youngest sister about various things and it was nice. i'm missing out on her growing up and i'm just always astounded and amazed and proud to see how well she's doing, and how smart she is.
as for my other sister, well, she graduated and is off to college not long from now, and i've always been proud of her, too.
i also got to spend some quality time with our dog who i dearly love.

all in all, it was a very good trip. even though i didn't see any of my old friends.
honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal to me that i didn't see anyone, even though i was really hoping for it before i got out there.

now, in a week, my classes start. i'm excited, but also nervous. i've needed to go back to school, and it's finally here. i feel like i'm finally getting my life on track. finally getting things together. finally doing something.
i hate sitting around. i'm the type of person who constantly wants something to do. so i fill my time with little things like puzzles and games and this blog.
but soon i'll get to fill my time with classes and studying, and then i'll be wondering when i'll get time for the little things.
and i'm looking forward to the actual medical classes. those will be the most fun and most interesting. and it's just one week away.

on a different note, i'm looking into buddhism. again. while there aren't any buddhist places nearby, i thought that maybe finding some inner peace could be achieved through this. i've always liked buddhist practices. it won't be much, but i'd like to give it a try. it may mean being a vegetarian again, i'm not sure. but i'm considering making a little altar area in my room since i think i can find the space for it, and meditating every day, and trying to not be so attached to physical things. that's what i mean when i say i'm looking into buddhism again.
we'll see how it goes.

with all my heart,

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