Monday, July 19, 2010

and we were only dreaming.

one of these days, maybe, i'll be happy with myself again.
it's strange, the effect other people can have on me. how a single smile can be like the sun and how the smallest motion can be what turns the world into something new and beautiful.

in the meantime, i'm going on a diet. for reals this time. today is day one. i've just had it with being overweight. it disgusts me, even if i don't really look "fat."
i still feel gross and i just want that to go away so i have to really work at it now. My first goal is to lose 20 pounds. It'll probably take a couple months but i know i can do this. i just have to keep encouraging myself.

no, i do not like others telling me what to do. especially not when that's mostly what i feel i'm getting out of a person. or that whole, "well, what you're doing right now is okay, but you really should do this afterwards."
not one person has told me that what i'm doing is great and they're glad i made the decision to do this. well, except my therapist, who keeps telling me i have all the time in the world and that my frontal lobe is still not fully developed and that kind of thing.

i guess all i really wanted was acceptance.

with all my heart,

No comments:

Post a Comment